 |
| Witch of Endor by Adam Elsheimer |
Once upon a time, in a deep enchanted forest, a young maiden named
Liv lived all alone in a cottage. It was a beautiful home tucked away in a
flower meadow. A clear blue stream flowed freely behind her house. It was
such a magical place to live.
One day Liv was sewing a blanket for the coming winter. She had a
big pot of stew brewing in her fireplace.
Knock.. Knock.. Knock..
Liv got up. "Who would be visiting this late?" she
thought.
"LET ME IN! It's freezing!" she heard a woman shriek.
Crash... Swish... Boom!
All of a sudden Liv's front window broke open and a frail boiled
woman flew through.
"Ahhhh! What are you doing you cray fool?" Live
screamed.
"Sit down you brat! This is my house now!" the witched
said as her brow furrowed.
The witch grabbed the blanket Liv was working on and wrapped
it around her.
“You are now my coven’s servant. You should have known better than
to live in a sweat little cottage in the middle of the forest all by yourself,”
the witch said.
“Are you freaking kidding me?” Liv thought.
All of a sudden more and more witches started pouring into Liv’s
home. They all gathered around the fireplace. The first ugly boiled witch saw
the stew bubbling in the fireplace.
“Hey ladies, Miss Liv has made us a lovely stew for dinner. Lets
dig in!” the witch said.
All of a sudden the witches swarmed the fireplace and started
eating the stew. They didn’t even use spoons. They dipped their hands in the
boiling, bubbling pot like it was nothing. Once the stew was gone the witches
ordered Liv to make them a dessert.
“Go out and the water from the crystal clear stream when you make
us our sweat treats,” one witch ordered.
“What the heck am I going to do? I need to get these ugly witches
out of my house!” Liv thought as she walked outside.
Liv walked to the stream to collect a pail of water. As she dipped
the pail in the cool blue water, she saw a face appear.
“Liv! Hey girl how have you been? I saw the whole thing with the
witches. I have a plan for you to get the witches out of your house,” the face
in the water said.
“Who are you?” Liv asked.
“I’m Aqua! Do you not remember me? We used to talk all the time
when you were little. Anyway, we don’t have much time. We must get those
witches out of your house!” Aqua said in a hurry. “The reason my water is so
clear here is because it comes from a magical spring! These old hags have no
idea that it can banish them from a house! Take the pail of water and throw it
on those ugly boiled women! Once you do that they will flee your house back to
their cave. After they leave sprinkle your house with my water and it will
protect you from the witches for a month,” Aqua instructed her.
“Bloody Hell! Thank you so much!” Liv said in excitement!
Liv hurried back to the house with the pail of water.
“What took you so long you fool? We want our desserts!” the
witches screeched.
All of a sudden Liv threw the water on the witches and they
started screaming!
“What the hell have you done? Come sisters we must fly back to the
dark depths of the cave!” the main witch screamed as her skin started bursting
open.
The witches left Liv’s house in shambles but at least they were
gone. Liv splashed her whole house inside and out with the magical water. She
did this every month and the witches never bothered her again.
Author's Note:
This story came from a Celtic Tale The Horned Women. In the original story, there were multiple things that got the witches out of the maiden's house and kept them out. I stayed with the same plot because I really enjoyed the story.
Bibliography:
Celtic Fairy Tales
Joseph Jacobs
Illustrated by John D. Batten
1892
Hi Dylan!!
ReplyDeleteI really love the picture you painted in your storytelling. You had a classic fairy tale setting but modernized parts of it. It was a lot of fun to read and I really enjoyed it. I had no idea what was going to happen once Liv got kicked out of the house. You really kept me guessing! Great job!
Hi, Dylan. I enjoyed reading your story. It kept me intrigued until the very end. I like how you kept the old traditional type storytelling in the plot but added modern phrases that people back then wouldn't have used. The picture you added helped add a picture of what the witches looked like. I like how you added a lot of detail about the cottage and the surrounding areas.
ReplyDeleteGreat details to start off your story. I felt it described the settings really nicely. I really liked the ending, as I like stories with happy endings. I thought you did a great job in describing the witches also. I did find some errors in the story though, but I think you can fix those really quickly if you look over the story again. Overall, you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteNice job on your retelling! I have not read the original but you made it sound pretty interesting! My favorite aspect of it was the dialogue. This is something a lot of people have trouble with in their writing. Too often it becomes very monotone and formal. Your dialogue was quite modern and resembled the way people actually speak to one another. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Dylan! I haven't read the original of this story, but I liked your interpretation. The dialogue you used made your story fun and easy to read. Modern language can do a lot to update a story. My only note would be that it should be "sweet cottage" rather than "sweat cottage," which doesn't sound quite as nice. Overall I think you did a great job!
ReplyDelete